I'm about to rant...so if you don't want to hear it don't read.
Why in the world is losing weight so hard? Sometimes this being skinny thing is no fun...although I wouldn't condsider myself skinny, but I'm trying to think like a skinny person. You constantly have to be working out, like an hour a day and your favorite unhealthy foods become a once every few months treat and then when you do eat that food (i.e. Ice cream and a cookie) you get sick.
Whew. Ok. I got that off of my chest. I have been working really hard to be healthy and really change my body. It's working and good changes are happening, but there are days...or weeks...where I want to quit and go back to my overeating and unhealthy ways. This week has been one of those weeks where I want to throw in the towel.
I think normally what keeps me going is being able to work out. Working out gives me more energy, helps me feel better about myself, gives me a sense of accomplishment, and makes it easier to eat well. The last two weeks I've probably worked out 4 or 5 times, which for me, is not good. My will power to resist temptation goes right out the door. This week I helped myself to pizza, cookies and ice cream (big mistake) as well as cheesy enchiladas and Cafe Rio. All of this has set me back and it's been frustrating. I've worked so hard to get to where I am today, literally 6 months at least and now part of me feels like I've thrown it all out the window. Now, I know that based off of what I've eaten this week I'm not going to gain all of that weight I've shed back, but Even a couple pounds is frustrating. Mostly because I could have done better.
I've been waiting forever to have a big juicy burger at red robin, and if I had stayed on track I could have had it this weekend. But now I'm back to a couple weeks away.
I know that compared to all the real problems people have my overeating and lack of exercise is super lame, but to me my weight has been a huge (no pun intended) trial in life. I'm tired of being limited because I'm not taking care of my body, but it's hard undoing all of the bad you took years to do in the first place.
I started at 225, and I NEVER want to be there again. I'm now at 187, and I still have about 40 pounds to go before I reach my goal. I just wanted to throw myself a little pity party before I suck it up and keep going.
In all honestly I feel great. Better than I've felt in years. I'm amazed at the strength that my body is gaining each week. This is my new way of life and I've never been happier. It's just hard saying goodbye to all of those old habits.
I love food. I still love it, I just have to change my relationship with it. :)
So that's my post. It's out there, and now I can get back on the saddle and keep going forward. :)
4 comments:
Rachel you are doing such a great job! I have the same problem, I love food! I have a hard time giving it up but I don't think we need to necessarily give it up we just need to eat it in healthier proportions instead of 5 cookies just eat 1 or 2. This is what has helped me cause not matter how hard I try to give up that bowl of icecream or a hot chocolate chip cookie it always comes back to haunt me. Anyway stay strong you are doing great!
I have been so impressed with your weight loss! I wish we could just go back to our teenage metabolisms ... to think I complained back then? Anyway, I agree with you that a huge benefit is just to feel stronger and healthier. I'm trying to follow your example!
YOU ARE MY HERO! Keep up the good work, I have dreams of being healthy, and skinny... but I am just not that sure if I can give up the cookies, yet. So, that is why you are my hero... going from 225 to 187 is so amazing! Keep it up!
way to go girl! you should be so proud of yourself cause that is amazing progress. do you know how hard it is for me to lose 5 pounds? and btw...i totally know how you feel. crazy how bodies work. keep all the good work...so inspiring!
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