Baby V

Wow, I feel like I've come a LONG way since I started doing pictures a year and a half ago! I still have a lot to learn but I'm pretty proud of how far I've come. Meet Baby V. He is probably one of the most cooperative babies I've ever taken pictures of! He slept when we wanted him to sleep and was awake when we wanted him awake. Look at those eyes. Look at that face! He's going to be a heart breaker for sure! More pics of this little darling boy to come!

Maddie's Blessing

Maddie's blessing was wonderful. I wasn't thinking too clearly when I bought her blessing dress. I bought a beautiful silky dress, but it made Maddie very slippery to hold while she was squirming up there. I'm glad Chris was able to hold on to her.

Little Miss Maddie is my little angel. She is so patient, and just has a calm about her. Her favorite thing in the world is to smile and try to talk to you as you smile and talk to her. She is a daddy's girl already. She LOVES to hear Chris's voice and just hangout with him. She brings a wonderful spirit into our home and we are SO LUCKY to have her in our family!

Witches night out!

Finally, a night where I can be myself!

My friend Camie told me about this last year and it sounded like so much fun I wanted to bring the witches in my family. So we got what we thought was "decked out" and went to Gardner's Village for Witches night out. Turns out we were underdressed. Now that we know what to expect, next year we are going to be the talk of all the witches!







The thing we noticed was the higher the hat the cooler the costume was. Next year we're going for height!
Can't wait until next year!

Numbers....

My evening weight is 204.4

My morning weight is 200.2

So close to breaking that barrier.

I've had a few people tell me I'm brave for putting my weight on my blog and being so open about it.

Those numbers don't define me.

I'm SO MUCH MORE!

Those numbers mean that I love food. :) That I'm curvy. But what those numbers don't tell you is that I'm a happy person. I have interests and hobbies. I'm a good mom, a good friend, and I'll work really hard to bring happiness to those around me. Those numbers don't tell you about the service I give to others or the wife I am to my husband. By looking at those numbers you won't know that I love to sing and dance, run and do yoga.

You ever notice that when we fear something we don't like to talk about it? Like in Harry Potter and "He who must not be named". Harry was one of the very few people who used his name. And it gave him a sort of confidence and strength. It gave him courage and took away some of his fear. When he used the name of Voldemort, it took away a little of the power that Voldemort had over Harry.

Maybe it's the same thing with our weight. When we keep our weight a secret, it's giving power to those numbers. When we put them out there, they become just numbers. That's it. They're not scary or something to be ashamed of. Just numbers. And numbers that you can change or be proud of.

Maybe the reason there are so many body issues in the first place is because so many women give power to those numbers they see on the scale. They LET those NUMBERS define them. They look at those numbers and see just bad things. They don't dare to breath those numbers to another living soul because of the shame and embarrassment they bring. In turn, they connect those numbers with their view of their body. They're shamed and embarrassed by what they see on the scale and therefore, shamed and embarrassed by what they see in the mirror.

Those numbers define them.

So I ask you. Are you defined by numbers? Or do you really TRULY see yourself as SO MUCH MORE?

Call Me The BLACK HOLE

You know what I forgot while I was pregnant? I forgot how big my stomach is. I'm not talking about the look of it (that's an entirely different post), I'm talking about what I can cram inside.

Seriously I could out eat any of you PLUS your husbands, brothers, dads, neighbors, etc. I'm pretty sure of it.

Now that I'm trying to loose weight and watching portions very carefully, It's hitting me like a ton of bricks the recollection that I am a bottomless pit. Have you ever gone to lunch with friends, or family and the women order a sandwich and eat almost half and a couple fries, then leaning back in their seats declare themselves full? I know you know what I'm talking about. In fact, I bet you are one of those women.

What I can't decide is are you really as full as you so delicately declare or do you simply push aside half your food because you know you shouldn't eat the entire thing?

You know what I'm thinking as I watch you push your half finished plate away? I'm thinking:

"Oh man, I should probably do the same thing.

I'm going to put down my fork and be done...

(one minute later)

Well maybe one more bite...

(ten bites later)

Well there's only a little bit left. I should probably leave it on my plate...Or I'll just finish it up...

(after another minute)

Man, their food is still sitting there. I could eat that too. I'm still hungry. How do they do it? They probably are thinking about the amount I ate. Ugghhhh."

I'm sure you're sitting reading this thinking you know men who could put away more food than me. Honestly, There may be a few out there, but I easily find myself eating more than full grown men all the time.

Sometimes I find myself at dinner with my husband and his friends, and while they're all full with food still left on their plates, mine is licked clean and I'm snacking on what's left behind on theirs.

Let me tell you what I mean. I eat a Cafe Rio Salad, and I'm still hungry and could easily eat a second. I could down a whole pizza in probably ten minutes and still have room for more. Burger and fries? Try three burgers and everybody's fries, plus a shake and it doesn't even phase me. I'm not making this up.

I watch other people become full after only a few bites, and I'm amazed. I often find myself having to tell myself that I've had enough and I shouldn't eat any more...and then I do.

So let me ask you, do you honestly get full after a few bites or do you push the food aside pretending to be full because that's what girls are supposed to do? And if you're a guy, what do you think of a girl who finishes her plate, while you leave food on yours?

Again, maybe I just feel this way because I'm trying to lose weight, but seriously. Even at my skinniest I could out eat any girl without blinking an eye. Will I ever be a girl who can push away half of a burger claiming to be full and actually mean it?

I doubt it.