Have you ever had a bad mom moment? I have, but yesterday's was a doosey(?).
I was at The mall with my mom shopping for an outfit to wear to my brother's wedding. Boston was wondering around and I was following. We were upstairs in Nordstroms when Boston decided he wanted to go down the escalator. So I figured I would intercept him before he got there and take him back to where my mom and the sales woman was. So I playfully scooped him up and threw him high up in the air (you know like all parents do with their kids). Apparently I let go of him a little too late so instead of going straight up and back down in front of me, he went OVER MY HEAD behind me. Realizing the error I made and trying to catch him before he landed on his head I reached up and grabbed his arm and tried to pull him safely back into my arms. I quickly realized that there was no way I would be able to catch him so I tried to hold on to his arm and slow his fall but it didn't work. He was falling too fast for me to get a good grip and he slipped right through my hands and landed about two feet away from me on the tile floor. The whole time he was in the air I was praying that he wouldn't land on his head, and some how (angels) he landed on his bottom and then his head hit the tile.
I ran over and scooped my terrified, hurt and screaming baby up. His little face looked like he had just been betrayed by the person he trusted most in the world. Suddenly I was surrounded by a group of women, workers and my mom. I was crying as hard as he was I felt so bad. One woman said as she rubbed my arm "He'll be ok, I saw him, he didn't hit his head that hard. It scared him more than anything." A worker asked me if I needed to sit down while another offered to get me a drink. My mom was right there hugging Boston and I. One woman started to tear up because I was so upset by what happened.
Boston cried and just held me as tight as he could for about 30 minutes. I cried for 15 minutes and just felt like the crappiest mom ever. Who is so dumb to throw their baby OVER their head. I've played that game with him a million times so I'm not quite sure what went wrong this time other than a didn't let go in time and was walking at the same time...I don't know.
I'm so thankfully that kids are so loving and trusting of their parents that even when we do things like throw them over our head and drop them on a tile floor they still love us.
He's fine and back to being his happy and adorable self. I'm back to being his favorite person in the whole world.