Waxing...

So I'm one of those weird people who love getting their eyebrows waxed. It's true, there's something about ripping the hair out of your face and knowing that you don't have to deal with it for a while. Maybe that's sounds morbid to some, but the pain is totally worth it.
So every 6 months I go and when I get my hair done, I have somebody wax my eyebrows. In between I do it my self. So today while waxing I had a little...mishap. The wax was still a little too runny when I started using it, and my right eyebrow got the brunt of it. Because the wax was so runny it, and because I do it standing up, it ran a little and grabbed on to some hairs I didn't want to go. Unfortunately I didn't notice until it was too late. When I ripped the wax off, the very bottom part of my eyebrow came off too! Ahhhhh!!!
Luckily, it's not too bad. I notice, but I don't know if it's bad enough for other people to really notice unless they stare at me. lol. Oh the things I get myself into. So now I have to go through the awkwardness of letting it grow back in. OH well, it should only take a month...or two...or three.

Wahoo!!!

Can I just begin by saying I am so happy that this semester is over? Well, I am! I can't even begin to tell you what a pain this semester has been! But it's over, and I'm done! I think it was such a pain because I was making up my grades to raise my GPA, and just felt like I was stuck and couldn't get where I was going...which probably doesn't make sense, but that's how I felt. But now I'm done, and I even have the possibility of getting my first 4.0! I have never gotten a 4.0, but I would be thrilled! To celebrate the end of this trying semester Chris and I rented a cabin with a few of his friends up at Bear Lake, and we will be escaping for 4 days. I'm looking forward to just relaxing and doing nothing!

I am going to school through the summer as well so that I can get into the teaching program in January, so my break won't last too long. A few days and I'm back to the grind. But honestly I don't really care because I will be taking classes that will count towards my degree. I'm Starting with Children's Lit, and Math 1050, and I'll take Math 2010 and Astronomy the second block.

Today is the big day! I'm kicking off my new blog, and my plan to start losing weight. Alot of you have said that you want to join me, which is great! You can see what I've set up at http://conqueringmygoliath.blogspot.com. If you want to be able to track your success, or post comments on their for everybody to see let me know, and I'll give you the userid and password. I was going to post it, but decided to just send it out to people who ask for it instead. You know, just in case.

Getting Personal

You know, blogging is a funny thing. For some it's a way to keep friends and family updated on what's going on in their life, and for others it becomes more like a journal page where you can go and just post your thoughts and feelings for the world to see. For many of us it's a combination of both. Updates, and a little personal stuff.
Well I'm about to get very personal and open and honest with everyone who reads this blog (which I suspect isn't very many). If you are uncomfortable with open honesty stop reading now. If you would like to know how I'm feeling and what my thoughts are, please keep reading.
So I have a confession to make. I'm addicted to being lazy, and I'm addicted to unhealthy food, and not in moderation. That's right. I said it. After a long day of work and school when I get home at whatever time I get home at after dinner I love to do absolutely nothing. In the mornings when I actually have a little time to go running, I sleep until 7:15am while Chris gets up and goes running. He doesn't even bother to ask me to come with him anymore because he knows I prefer to get that extra hour of sleep. Then there is my other indulgence...unhealthy food.
I have a weird relationship with food. I know this sounds ridiculous but if I go to a restaurant or even cook dinner at home, I feel guilty leaving anything on my plate. It's hard for me to throw it out. So even if I'm full I keep eating. I have no idea why. Another confession, I am an emotional eater. When I'm bored I eat. When I've had a long or rough day I eat. Now Let me explain, I don't eat like a whole meal, or snack on anything healthy. Oh no. Usually I will have a few bites of ice cream. Which doesn't sound bad, but is after a week you've gone through 3/4 a container of ice cream and for the most part completely by yourself...you've got a problem. I've actually been doing better at that last one. The dinners that I make while very good, are rarely the healthiest things in the world. Now they wouldn't be so bad if I could just have a regular portion size, but it usually ends up being double what it should be.
Weight is something that I've struggled with my entire life, but especially since highschool. Since high school I have gained 65 pounds. 45lbs of that have been since I've been married. It's not something I'm proud of, who would be?
If that's not enough, get ready for another peak inside my own personal world. In January I had a miscarriage. I was 9 weeks a long and it was an experience I would never wish to experience again, and would never wish it upon anybody. It was a very hard experience for me. However from that experience I have been able to put some things into perspective. I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant, but the thing that scared me the most was the thought of putting on additional weight. And once I miscarried I felt like I had the opportunity to change a couple things so that the next time around I feel like I'm ready for it. I don't want my weight to have any effect on my pregnancy or my baby (future baby). Not only that but I am so tired of going shopping and having a hard time finding anything that I feel comfortable in. I'm tired of making excuses. I'm tired of avoiding being in pictures because I hate what I look like. I hate that the last thing I want to do this summer is go boating with Chris's family. Not because I don't like boating, but because I am dreading being in a swimsuit in public. Most of all I'm tired of feeling bad about myself. I'm tired of my lack of confidence. I'm tired of not wanting to see people I haven't seen in a while because I'm scared of what they might think. It's getting to the point where it's effecting my daily life and if I don't do something, it will effect my future.
So I've decided to start a blog dedicated to my own personal thoughts and feelings about my quest to lose weight. I plan on writing something each day of how I'm doing. My goal is to lose an average of 5 lbs a month for the next year. I will be putting up my workout plan, any good recipes I can find, and reporting what I did that day. I will also be saying how much I lost at the end of each month. Anybody is welcome to do it with me. No matter if you have 5 lbs to lose or 100lbs, it's always so much nicer when you have somebody their to support you and keep you going on your path so you can reach your goal. If you want to do it with me you can let me know and I will give you the userid and the password to the blog so that you can post how you are doing and your thoughts and feelings through it all.
Honestly one of the biggest reasons I'm doing this is because I want to have kids but I know I need to get this under control before I do anything else. I'm excited to do this, and I'm determined to do it! My weight is not going to hold me back in anything anymore, and I've made the commitment to become healthier, stronger and more active. My start date will be April 24th. I will post the blog site on here in the next couple days. That way, if you want to do it with me you have time to prepare and make a plan. Then we'll all start together on the 24th.
So welcome to my world. I feel like I have let you into my own personal thoughts and my own personal world, which is a scary thing. Good thing I love you all.

Finally!!!!

Thanks to everybody for voting on my poll, it was interesting to see what everybody picked.
After a lot of thinking and praying and many frustrating months of feeling like I had no goal in life...I finally decided what I am going to go into!
I went through all of my options starting with Nursing, and after looking at the program and learning that I would basically have to start all four years of college over again I realized it wasn't for me.
I then went through interior design and photography...not for me either. It just didn't feel right.
So then I began looking into social work and therapy and realized that it would be more sefl destructive for me then enjoyable.
So after visiting a highschool classroom and an elementary class, I have dedcided to do (drumroll please).....

Elementary ed! I feel really good about it and am so excited that I finally will be doing something that I want to do! In order for me to be accepted to the spring semester of the program, I'm going to have to give up my summer completely and knock out some classes, and take a heavier load in the fall, but then I will be in. My plan is to do apply for the internship which would mean I would go to school full time for that entire year, but then I could start teaching in January. I would be teaching my senior year instead of going to school, and then I would be done!!! I know it's going to be a lot of hard work, and no free time at all, especially since I will still be working full time, but I just keep telling myself "sacrifice brings forth the blessing of heaven...and graduation." :)