Ewwwww

6 Years ago in the border town of douglas Arizona....

"Hi Elder....We're both sick...OH no, he's sick too?...Yeah we have our numbers....We ended up taking a nap at a member's house before our lesson and then we just came right home afterwards...That's a good idea, we'll go to the store when we get off the phone...Is there anything you can do for us? Why yes, yes there is...Elder, will you teach us how to hawk a loogie?"

"What?"
"Elder, We're dying here. Niether of us can breathe and we're pretty sure if we could just get this stuff out of our heads and lungs we'd feel so much better."
"I can't teach the sisters how to hawk a loogie"
"Elder, trust us, we wouldn't be asking unless we were desperate. And we're desperate. You said 'Anything'"
"Oh come on. You're serious aren't you?"
"Seriously sick, Elder Please?"
*Long Sigh* "Alright. OH I can't believe I'm doing this"
"Hold on, let me put you on speaker so we both can learn...Ok, go ahead."
Laughing "Oh my gosh. Ok, so first of all you....."

Dear, sweet, Elder Pendleton proceeded to give my companion and I lessons on how to hawk a loogie. We had been trying all day and ended up just gagging ourselves. With some very detailed lessons over the phone he taught us how to hawk a loogie and what it's supposed to sound like when you do it right.

My companion and I were mildy successful that night, and the next day were feeling well enough to go out. I wish that those lessons would have stuck. I still can't hawk a loogie and I'm wishing I could. I've been sick with a cold for coming up on 8 weeks now, and although I'm to the point where I'm feeling great and not coughing so much like a dying smoker anymore, I still have grossness stuck in my sinuses and I'm pretty sure if I could just hawk a proper loogie I could rid myself of this yuckiness.

I know, what kind of girl WANTS to hawk a loogie?

This one.