Waxing...

So I'm one of those weird people who love getting their eyebrows waxed. It's true, there's something about ripping the hair out of your face and knowing that you don't have to deal with it for a while. Maybe that's sounds morbid to some, but the pain is totally worth it.
So every 6 months I go and when I get my hair done, I have somebody wax my eyebrows. In between I do it my self. So today while waxing I had a little...mishap. The wax was still a little too runny when I started using it, and my right eyebrow got the brunt of it. Because the wax was so runny it, and because I do it standing up, it ran a little and grabbed on to some hairs I didn't want to go. Unfortunately I didn't notice until it was too late. When I ripped the wax off, the very bottom part of my eyebrow came off too! Ahhhhh!!!
Luckily, it's not too bad. I notice, but I don't know if it's bad enough for other people to really notice unless they stare at me. lol. Oh the things I get myself into. So now I have to go through the awkwardness of letting it grow back in. OH well, it should only take a month...or two...or three.

Wahoo!!!

Can I just begin by saying I am so happy that this semester is over? Well, I am! I can't even begin to tell you what a pain this semester has been! But it's over, and I'm done! I think it was such a pain because I was making up my grades to raise my GPA, and just felt like I was stuck and couldn't get where I was going...which probably doesn't make sense, but that's how I felt. But now I'm done, and I even have the possibility of getting my first 4.0! I have never gotten a 4.0, but I would be thrilled! To celebrate the end of this trying semester Chris and I rented a cabin with a few of his friends up at Bear Lake, and we will be escaping for 4 days. I'm looking forward to just relaxing and doing nothing!

I am going to school through the summer as well so that I can get into the teaching program in January, so my break won't last too long. A few days and I'm back to the grind. But honestly I don't really care because I will be taking classes that will count towards my degree. I'm Starting with Children's Lit, and Math 1050, and I'll take Math 2010 and Astronomy the second block.

Today is the big day! I'm kicking off my new blog, and my plan to start losing weight. Alot of you have said that you want to join me, which is great! You can see what I've set up at http://conqueringmygoliath.blogspot.com. If you want to be able to track your success, or post comments on their for everybody to see let me know, and I'll give you the userid and password. I was going to post it, but decided to just send it out to people who ask for it instead. You know, just in case.

Getting Personal

You know, blogging is a funny thing. For some it's a way to keep friends and family updated on what's going on in their life, and for others it becomes more like a journal page where you can go and just post your thoughts and feelings for the world to see. For many of us it's a combination of both. Updates, and a little personal stuff.
Well I'm about to get very personal and open and honest with everyone who reads this blog (which I suspect isn't very many). If you are uncomfortable with open honesty stop reading now. If you would like to know how I'm feeling and what my thoughts are, please keep reading.
So I have a confession to make. I'm addicted to being lazy, and I'm addicted to unhealthy food, and not in moderation. That's right. I said it. After a long day of work and school when I get home at whatever time I get home at after dinner I love to do absolutely nothing. In the mornings when I actually have a little time to go running, I sleep until 7:15am while Chris gets up and goes running. He doesn't even bother to ask me to come with him anymore because he knows I prefer to get that extra hour of sleep. Then there is my other indulgence...unhealthy food.
I have a weird relationship with food. I know this sounds ridiculous but if I go to a restaurant or even cook dinner at home, I feel guilty leaving anything on my plate. It's hard for me to throw it out. So even if I'm full I keep eating. I have no idea why. Another confession, I am an emotional eater. When I'm bored I eat. When I've had a long or rough day I eat. Now Let me explain, I don't eat like a whole meal, or snack on anything healthy. Oh no. Usually I will have a few bites of ice cream. Which doesn't sound bad, but is after a week you've gone through 3/4 a container of ice cream and for the most part completely by yourself...you've got a problem. I've actually been doing better at that last one. The dinners that I make while very good, are rarely the healthiest things in the world. Now they wouldn't be so bad if I could just have a regular portion size, but it usually ends up being double what it should be.
Weight is something that I've struggled with my entire life, but especially since highschool. Since high school I have gained 65 pounds. 45lbs of that have been since I've been married. It's not something I'm proud of, who would be?
If that's not enough, get ready for another peak inside my own personal world. In January I had a miscarriage. I was 9 weeks a long and it was an experience I would never wish to experience again, and would never wish it upon anybody. It was a very hard experience for me. However from that experience I have been able to put some things into perspective. I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant, but the thing that scared me the most was the thought of putting on additional weight. And once I miscarried I felt like I had the opportunity to change a couple things so that the next time around I feel like I'm ready for it. I don't want my weight to have any effect on my pregnancy or my baby (future baby). Not only that but I am so tired of going shopping and having a hard time finding anything that I feel comfortable in. I'm tired of making excuses. I'm tired of avoiding being in pictures because I hate what I look like. I hate that the last thing I want to do this summer is go boating with Chris's family. Not because I don't like boating, but because I am dreading being in a swimsuit in public. Most of all I'm tired of feeling bad about myself. I'm tired of my lack of confidence. I'm tired of not wanting to see people I haven't seen in a while because I'm scared of what they might think. It's getting to the point where it's effecting my daily life and if I don't do something, it will effect my future.
So I've decided to start a blog dedicated to my own personal thoughts and feelings about my quest to lose weight. I plan on writing something each day of how I'm doing. My goal is to lose an average of 5 lbs a month for the next year. I will be putting up my workout plan, any good recipes I can find, and reporting what I did that day. I will also be saying how much I lost at the end of each month. Anybody is welcome to do it with me. No matter if you have 5 lbs to lose or 100lbs, it's always so much nicer when you have somebody their to support you and keep you going on your path so you can reach your goal. If you want to do it with me you can let me know and I will give you the userid and the password to the blog so that you can post how you are doing and your thoughts and feelings through it all.
Honestly one of the biggest reasons I'm doing this is because I want to have kids but I know I need to get this under control before I do anything else. I'm excited to do this, and I'm determined to do it! My weight is not going to hold me back in anything anymore, and I've made the commitment to become healthier, stronger and more active. My start date will be April 24th. I will post the blog site on here in the next couple days. That way, if you want to do it with me you have time to prepare and make a plan. Then we'll all start together on the 24th.
So welcome to my world. I feel like I have let you into my own personal thoughts and my own personal world, which is a scary thing. Good thing I love you all.

Finally!!!!

Thanks to everybody for voting on my poll, it was interesting to see what everybody picked.
After a lot of thinking and praying and many frustrating months of feeling like I had no goal in life...I finally decided what I am going to go into!
I went through all of my options starting with Nursing, and after looking at the program and learning that I would basically have to start all four years of college over again I realized it wasn't for me.
I then went through interior design and photography...not for me either. It just didn't feel right.
So then I began looking into social work and therapy and realized that it would be more sefl destructive for me then enjoyable.
So after visiting a highschool classroom and an elementary class, I have dedcided to do (drumroll please).....

Elementary ed! I feel really good about it and am so excited that I finally will be doing something that I want to do! In order for me to be accepted to the spring semester of the program, I'm going to have to give up my summer completely and knock out some classes, and take a heavier load in the fall, but then I will be in. My plan is to do apply for the internship which would mean I would go to school full time for that entire year, but then I could start teaching in January. I would be teaching my senior year instead of going to school, and then I would be done!!! I know it's going to be a lot of hard work, and no free time at all, especially since I will still be working full time, but I just keep telling myself "sacrifice brings forth the blessing of heaven...and graduation." :)

March Madness!!

Well, yesterday was a declared and official holiday for Chris and the beginning of a four month torture for me. Yes, it is the beginning of the NCAA tournament, which means basketball 24/7. Then to add to it, the NBA Championships will be starting soon which means even more basketball...and THEN Baseball starts up. Now, I don't have a problem with sports, and actually enjoy sitting down and watching a game every once in a while...but that's the key "once in a while." Last year I just about had to be committed by the time basketball was over, and what was once my second favorite sport to watch, is now my least favorite. Chris however loves every minute of it, and so because he comes with me to Broadway plays, and ballroom concerts I will keep my insanity to myself, and will endure watching the players run to one side of the court and make a shot, and then see the opposing team do the same thing for two hours. Yea Basketball!! :S

Book Game

Rules:
1. Grab the book closest to you.
2. Open to page 123, go down to the fifth sentence.
3. Post the text of the next three sentences on your blog.
4. Name of the book and the author.
5. Tag three people.

"It will not be the Large house in which you live. The searing question that will cross your mind again and again will be 'How well have my children done?"

That was from One Bright Shining Hope: Messages for Women by Gordon B. Hinkley.

It's so true isn't it. Today I had the opportunity to visit one of my friends in the hospital who just had a baby yesterday. I haven't held a baby that young for...I don't know how long. As I was marveling at the little hands and feet, and the perfect little mouth, I realized how important and wonderful motherhood is. Truly at the end of our lives we will ask ourselves "How well have my children done."

Help!

So as trusted friends and family I need your help. Chris created this poll for me and I would love it if you would all take it! I'm at a crossroads in school and have no idea what to do next. Take the poll and let me know what you think I should do based on what you could see me doing. Gracias!

Great Grandma Belle

My Grandma Belle,

My great grandma belle passed away yesterday. She was a wonderful and funny woman! She was 97 years old and loved being active. A few weeks ago she came down with pnuemonia and was forced to rest and be on oxygen. She was not very happy about that. My cousin Christy and I went and spent some time with her on saturday just talking and laughing with her. Her favorite subject was the gospel, everything tied back to the gospel. One time when I was about 18 I told her something that had happened to me, and said that I was so lucky. She stood up as tall as she could, pointed her finger at me and said, "there is no such thing as luck, and I don't ever want to hear you say that! Every piece of 'luck' we have is really a blessing from Heavenly Father, so don't say 'I'm lucky' say 'I'm so blessed." That's always kinda stuck with me, and now I really do find myself recognizing my blessings verses attributing it all to luck. She was a fireball of a woman! Chris and I visited her on sunday for a while. It was a very neat experience. She didn't want to talk to me hardly at all (she had talked to me the day before) she only wanted Chris to talk. Right before we left we had a very special experience. I felt the spirit prompt me to ask her if she would like a blessing from Chris, but before I could ask her, she asked Chris. Chris gladly accepted and in the blessing told her that it wasn't her time to go quite yet, even though she felt like she was ready. Well she recovered from the pnuemonia a few days after our visit. A little over a week later her body began to shut down. Food and water no longer tasted good, and she didn't want to eat. Then on Tuesday she fell and broke her hip. She didn't want to go to the hospital so the home where she was at put her on morphine and made her as comfortable as possible. Our family was alerted that normally when this happens they pass very quickly. Luckily everyone in our family had been able to spend some quality time with grandma in the last couple weeks so when she passed wednesday morning with some of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren around her, she knew how much she was loved here on earth.
Instead of being sad, we are so happy for her! 97 years! She and my Grandpa were converts to the church and later temple workers. For Grandma Belle church service was a huge part of her life and brought her so much joy! My great grandparent's amazing faith has been passed to everyone in their family! My great grandpa passed away when I was in my early teens so I am so happy that they have finally been reunited! It's amazing how knowing the plan of happiness really can turn what the rest of the world may see as tragic, into something so wonderful! I'm sure she got up there, hugged grandpa Webb, and said ok, let's get to work, we have no time to waste! Hopefully when I'm 97 I can have that kind of attitude...I'm 24 and trying to obtain that attitude right now...it's really a work in progress. Horaay for Grandma Belle! She ran the race and fought the good fight, and I'm sure she is hearing Heavenly Father say "Well Done!"

Quick update on Chris

Chris got accepted to BYU and will be starting in May. I have never seen him so excited!! He is working at a company called Qualtrics and is loving it. He works in sales with a few of his friends and one of his favorite mission companions. The company is flying him and his mission companion back to Chicago and then to Perdue to do a couple trainings for some universities and represent the company at a big sales conference.

He also started up playing soccer again...not that he really ever stopped, but now it's official! He and some of his highschool friends decided to start an official team. At first I was nervous because usually he's the keeper and always gets sprained fingers at the very least. It always made me cringe a little watching him dive for the ball when he played in high school. lol. But it's actually been a lot of fun watching him play again! He's rotates with another teamate for the keeper position so he doesn't get completely beat up. Mostly he's loving playing again, and I'm loving watching him play!

Our Life Right Now

Wow, so I'm jumping into the blogging world. I didn't know I had a blog until somebody reminded me. But I created it when I didn't even know what a blog was...so I'm trying it again. This is all new for me, and I'm really bad at this stuff, but excited to try it out, and keep it updated this time.

Chris and I are amazingly busy right now in school. We hardly see eachother during the week. We are gone from 6:30 am until about 9 pm every night. And our weekends are mostly filled with homework. Free time feels like a forgotten dream. When we do get the luxury of free time it's mostly filled with sleep. lol. We are working fulltime and full time students. (Don't ask me what we were thinking. He's going into Business Management at BYU, and I'm at UVU majoring in...actually it depends on the day you ask me. I decided at the beginning of this semester the last thing I wanted to go into was english, so I dropped all of my classes and am just trying to boost my GPA this semester. In the last week I have debated between nursing, phsychology, Community Health, and Elementary Ed. I'm hoping to narrow it down in the next couple weeks or so...hopefully...I'll keep you updated.

Our family plans were post poned at the end of January when I began bleeding at 9 weeks pregnant. I went in and got an ultra sound and found out that the baby's heart had stopped beating, and I was having what's called an "inevitable miscarriage." Chris and I were both heartbroken, initially. Thankfully with a lot of prayers it has turned into a great experience, especially for me. I was really struggling for a while, and just wanted an answer as to why it happened. Time after time Heavenly Father brought peace to my heart letting me know that that baby was ok. I came to understand even more about how He knows and loves each one of his children. I was able to really strengthen my faith and understanding through some very tender experiences with the spirit. I love this gospel and I'm so thankful for the knowledge that it gives me. I'm thankful for my husband, and the love, blessings and support he gave me through this experience.